"I'm curious!" I find myself saying these words often throughout the day. And upon closer examination, even more frequently. Curiosity isn't just a great skill, as movie director Paul Verhoeven suggests; it's also, perhaps primarily, a significant strength. And increasingly so, a necessary strength to navigate the current times with flexibility and effectiveness.

Curiosity aids me in stepping into new situations with an open heart and mind, free from preconceptions or expectations I should fulfill, but simply curious about what lies ahead. In today's fast-paced and intricate world, it's often impossible to foresee, analyze, and fully understand everything in advance. There's often no external anchor to cling to for a sense of control. We're invited to increasingly find that anchor within ourselves and approach what is with openness. Well-developed curiosity can greatly support us in this endeavor.

The question I want to pose to you now isn't 'How curious are you?' but rather, 'How are you curious?'

Curious about yourself, others, and the potential

How is your curiosity tuned? Are you curious about yourself? How will situations unfold for you, how will you experience them, and what will your feelings be? For instance, when you're about to ride a rollercoaster for the first time or in a work setting, entering a certain management or board meeting you've never attended before? Or are you more curious about others? How do they perceive a situation? How do they experience it? And are you solely curious about the other person, or perhaps, unconsciously, also curious about yourself? Because you want to understand it, to form an opinion or judgment? Or are you curious about what wants to happen, what is unfolding in the moment?

Looking at my (working) life, there's been a clear evolution in how I approach curiosity. In the early stages of my career as an external consultant, looking back, my curiosity was mainly self-directed. I repeatedly took on new projects with new clients, delving deep into the analysis of workflows and how things could be improved. Understanding was paramount. That was where my curiosity was primarily focused. Once I comprehended and grasped matters, I could start advising and implementing improvements.

This led to a lot of pressure and stress. I was expected to grasp things quickly to very quickly; that's what the client was paying a premium for. Uncertainty and perfectionism fueled the stress: 'Have I seen everything?' 'Have I missed anything?' 'Am I smart enough? Am I asking the right questions?' 'Can I handle this project?' Looking back, I was constantly in a state of tension, wanting to control everything and preempt all possible risks, driven by a desire to understand everything.

This changed when I transitioned into coaching in 2009. In my coaching training at the School for Coaching, I became aware for the first time that I could approach my curiosity differently, professionally speaking. A more self-aware approach in conversations and other situations. And additionally, more focused on the other person without it needing to be about my understanding. Slowly, step by step, this led to more inner peace.

My development of other-directed curiosity took a major leap when I encountered Transformational Presence's principles and coaching methodology. And, importantly, a third form of curiosity emerged: being open to and curious about the potential in a situation, about what wants to happen. I learned to enter new situations with calm and confidence, embracing not-knowing and especially not needing to know. In fact, any preconceived notion of what should happen in a coaching session is counterproductive.

In my current work, I apply my 'other and potential-directed curiosity' when I start a new training or workshop as a facilitator. Open, unbiased, and with a strong intention for positive outcomes. I approach each coaching conversation in the same way. I have no idea beforehand what it will be about or how it will unfold, but I am fully prepared to explore and discover together.

I've now internalized this attitude to the point that I find myself thinking, 'I wonder what will happen or how it will be!' in my daily life, over and over again. It brings me inner peace; I don't need to know things in advance, have no expectations, or need to control anything. And it gives me confidence; whatever happens, I trust that I'll have a response in the moment and can handle it.

This week, pay attention to how you are curious. It's not about right or wrong, but becoming aware of the impact of the direction of your curiosity. Play with it and see what happens!

Wishing you much joy in the process!