“I feel completely sidelined and not taken seriously,” says Eric*, a manager of a large operational department, with anger still in his voice during a coaching session last month. The next day, there's a management team meeting, and he wants to address the situation. His emotions are driving him to demand an explanation and reverse the decisions. "But I don’t want to sit there angry and resentful, judging others for what they’ve done—that’s not constructive. So, how should I approach it?" he asks, articulating his coaching question for the session. 

So, what’s the situation? His director and another management team member, the Manager of Strategy and Organization, decided on their own to hire an external firm to review the efficiency and effectiveness of the entire organization. They drafted the terms of reference together and informed the management team only then. Given the size of Eric’s department, the more significant part of the review will take place in his department. 

One of the greatest strengths of Transformational Presence as a coaching approach is that it provides concrete tools to see a situation differently. It heightens your awareness and sheds light on the choices you have in how you relate to any situation. It brings to life what Max Planck meant when he said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." It also helps you embody Einstein’s assertion, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." 

I help Eric take a step back and become aware of his emotions, the perspective he’s holding, and the assumptions and beliefs that have triggered those emotions. Together, we explore the potential of the situation. It turns out there are two main opportunities: 

• He sees a chance to structure the review in his department in a way that supports the improvements he has already initiated. 

• Using this situation as an example, he recognizes the opportunity to highlight the need for better collaboration within the management team and explore how that could be achieved. 

Through this calm and comprehensive exploration, Eric not only recognizes his old pattern of playing the victim, but he also realizes that he needs to take more control and project more strength and confidence. 

As a first step, Eric decides to express his feelings clearly during the management team meeting as a result of the solo actions taken by the director and the Manager of Strategy and Organization, without any judgment or blame. He then plans to immediately link this to his desire to move forward with better collaboration, in the form of natural alignment and mutually agreed-upon commitments. 

His anger and resentment have disappeared like snow melting in the sun. Instead, he feels empowered and confident and looks forward to tomorrow’s management team meeting. 

In other words, "shifts happen!" ;) 

If you find yourself in a stressful situation in the coming weeks, try taking a step back and becoming aware of how you’re viewing it. Then, adopt a different perspective and look for the potential in the situation (perhaps with someone else's help). Decide how you want to show up in that situation from a place of strength and control, then step back in and see how things unfold. You might be pleasantly surprised! 

I wish you lots of discovery and enjoyment! 

*I altered the name for privacy reasons