Last Sunday night, I lay awake for a while. I had gotten up to use the bathroom at 3:17 a.m., and I was really looking forward to crawling back into my warm bed and falling asleep again. And then the thoughts started flowing. All kinds of topics from the day before and the day ahead passed by. At one point I heard the newspaper delivery person, checked my watch: 4:20 a.m. I had been awake for more than an hour already!

Do you recognize those moments when your thoughts simply run away with you? When it feels as though your thinking is in full control—even when all you really want is to go back to sleep?

In my coaching sessions, I see this often as well: coachees seem to merge with their thoughts, almost like helpless victims of their thinking—or so they believe (!).

In my case, I’ll admit it was actually quite nice to think in peace for a bit. It gave me inspiration for this blog and helped me make an important decision about one of my programs. But more often, it’s not helpful at all—I just want to sleep so I can start the next day rested.

A Simple 3‑Step Exercise

Fortunately, I have a simple exercise that helps me with this most of the time. Most of the time, because I still occasionally get swept up by my thoughts.

What I do can basically be broken down into three steps:

1.      creating distance
2.      observing
3.      shifting attention to the present moment

Make a fist with your left hand and imagine that fist represents your thinking. Your right hand is open and represents your awareness. What usually happens is that your right hand closes around your left fist—your awareness seems to merge with your thinking. In other words, your awareness and your thoughts appear to be one. Your attention is fully absorbed by what you think, and you can’t seem to let go. Your thoughts take the lead and seem to have a will of their own.

Step 1 is to loosen your right hand from your left fist—in other words, you consciously create distance from your thoughts.
From that position, you’re able to (2) observe your thoughts from a neutral standpoint (because you’re no longer fused with them). You see how thoughts effortlessly come and go. You notice that you have thoughts, but you are not your thoughts. That’s when you’re ready for step 3.

You shift your attention to the present moment by moving your awareness (now “free” from thinking) to your senses.

In my example: I notice how my body is lying in or on the mattress, the pressure of the duvet on my body, I hear a few birds chirping, I feel the cool air entering my lungs, and so on. My thoughts keep going in the background, but I’m not giving them any attention for a moment. In this way, I often fall back asleep quite quickly.

Taking the wheel again

By doing this exercise—by consciously choosing where you place your attention—you take the wheel again. You are free to do what you want.

I invite you to try this exercise this week, whenever your thoughts might get the upper hand and you want to experience something different. Simply practice it and see what it brings you.

I wish you lots of insight—and, if possible, a good dose of enjoyment too!