“Life isn’t all roses,” “every house has its cross to bear”—old sayings that make it clear that unpleasant things happen in everyone’s life. And those sayings are timeless; even today there are countless situations you probably would rather have avoided or not experienced at all. Maybe you wish it hadn’t rained during your day out, you’re dreading a particular meeting or illness prevents you from going to a festival with friends. Whatever it is, the reality is simple: life happens.

The question is: how do you navigate it? Or, put differently: how are you present with what is?

Michael A. Singer describes this vividly in his inspiring book The Untethered Soul:

“It’s easy to see that in daily life we constantly build up stress and tension. But to understand this tendency, we must first examine why we don’t simply take life as it is. What is it within us that has the power to resist reality? If you look carefully, you’ll see that it is the Self—your deepest being—that possesses this power. Another word for it is willpower.

It is astonishing what we are able to accomplish with our willpower. Yet we mostly use it to resist the natural flow of life. (…) But what is the point of resisting things that have already happened?

In truth, it is never the situation itself that we resist. If someone says something we don’t like, resisting it cannot undo what was said. What we are really resisting is our inner experience when it happens. We don’t want to be affected by it. (…) What initially enters us through simple sensory perception eventually reaches our mental and emotional energy system and sets energy in motion. (…) When you block this flow of energy with your willpower, tension is the result. You can completely exhaust yourself fighting a single event—or even a single thought or feeling.” (pp. 197–199)

The things that happen in your life do not, in themselves, cause stress or tension. It is your resistance to them that does. When you clearly see this mechanism, a choice becomes available: you can choose not to resist anymore. Space opens up, and a great amount of energy is released.

“Yes, but…” I hear you think, “does that mean I have to agree with everything that happens, or even approve of it?” No, it doesn’t. What you do accept is that it has happened. From there, you are free to choose who you want to be and what you want to do.

How are you present with what is— with what is happening in your life right now? Are you able not to block the flow of energy within you, but to simply let it flow? Try practicing an unconditional “yes” to whatever happens a few times this week, and notice what it brings you.

I wish you many insights—and joy along the way!